Are You Talking Yourself into Failure?

April 17th, 2008 | by Paula Brett |

Those who say it cannot be done should not interrupt the person doing it
– Chinese Proverb

Success is not something that just happens; not even to the gurus who seem to have cash gushing out of their very pores.

Successful people follow a pattern of habitual positive attitudes and actions that includes positive phrasing when they speak.

Are you a person with a negative attitude? Perhaps you have difficulty seeing the better side of problems or stumbling blocks?

Successful people actually see the new possibilities available to them when the merde begins to hit the propeller. This is not a magical talent that produces successful ventures at will, but a combination of a learned mind-set and a determined plan of action that is totally positive.

When you can see only the negative in something, you destroy any chance of being successful with your online ventures.

Have you noticed how successful people do things in a certain way, following their well-tested plan of action? They rarely vary from what they know works. I’m not saying that they don’t test other processes, they do — they just don’t mess with success — why would they?

Whether you’re speaking (or writing) to one person or a group, your language has to be positive. People make judgments about you after reading or listening to what you have to say and HOW you say it. This is particularly true if you are communicating with to successful marketers. Negativity is definitely not in their personality.

Negative speech almost always leads to constant complaining and creates a negative or hostile work environment. Your readers and clients do not want to be brought down when they are considering buying one of your products. If you’re a forum member, the chances are you’ll be discounted if you’re always negative in your posts.

Here’s a few common negative statements I’m sure we’ve all come across which I would advise you to avoid:

“There’s no such thing as a free lunch!”

This blanket statement is so negative and pessimistic that it puts a downer on any plan being proposed before it even gets off the ground. Before anyone can add to the proposal or suggest anything positive, the entire plan just got a negative focus by that statement.

Successful Internet Marketers would never say that. Instead, they would be looking for possibilities to turn a negative into a positive. Success is a total mindset and those who toss negative attitudes out of their business get ahead.

“I can’t …”

What a waste of breath this declaration is to any forward progress. Before you even get started, you have given up. Succeeding is mostly believing you can do something and then doing it. Never say you can’t, because you can. If you don’t know how to do something just ask.

“I know this is a stupid question, but …”

Asking the question won’t get you labeled as “stupid,” but the way you phrase it might. When you use that terminology to lead into your question you are putting yourself down and giving someone the chance to wonder why you even asked the question in the first place, if you thought it was stupid.

There are no stupid questions, except the ones you don’t ask. We all have gaps in our understanding of a process or technique that seems easy to someone else. Just ask the question and listen to the answer.

“That sounds like a good idea, but …”

If it’s a good idea, don’t put “but” in your sentence, which turns a good idea or plan into a negative pursuit. You are going to have to train yourself to look at the positive side of any ideas put to you. When you get the reputation for putting down all good ideas for success, you will be left out of the loop and any forward progress will happen without you.

Successful Internet Marketers don’t have the time for negative people in their business and won’t waste time overcoming your objections to new ideas.

“You probably don’t have time to help me with …”

When you make decisions about other people’s responses to your request for help, you usually get just what you asked for… someone with no time to help you.

That request for help could sound like you are whinging and it might not get you the help you want. Most Internet Marketers have been in the same place you are and will be glad to point you in the right direction if you ask for help directly.

Be specific with your request for help. Simply provide the details they might need to respond to your request. A better way to ask this question would be:

“Do you have time to help me with…?”

or

“I’m a bit stuck and can’t seem to … Do you have any ideas?”

Both of those questions are direct and positive and will almost certainly get you a response.

The Internet moves rapidly. Today’s news is tomorrow’s fish and chip paper. The people that succeed will keep up with the new processes and move on with a positive attitude.

“It’s too good to be true.”

Why? Why can’t it be “It’s good enough to be true” or “How am I going to do this?” Instant negativity is all around you and it is your job to dig it out of your automatic responses.

That statement is not helpful in any way. Of course, there’s a lot of hype all over the Internet and some of it really is too good to be true. But this is no reason to wrap every good idea in that negative comment.

“Anything that can go wrong will go wrong.”

Whilst Murphy’s cynical comments on general mishaps can be a bit of a giggle, they also come with a mindset that can destroy the forward progress of a task.

To start with, it’s not a true statement, but a blanket warning about possibilities and could make you hesitate when you have some good ideas for your project.

So, give old Murphy’s Law the bums rush from your mind and definitely from your conversation.

“I’ll try to get this done.”

You’re giving yourself permission not to do the job you’ve tasked yourself to do. You won’t commit to getting it done in the time frame allowed. You’re setting up a reason to fail that takes the blame off you.

“I hope this works out…”

Again, you’re giving yourself permission to fail. Commit to getting the project done. Things are going to happen in any project that will be a hassle to fix and you need to to be 100% committed to getting it done. Take responsibility for your own success. Hoping will not get things done, but “doing” will.

Positive attitudes and actions are the cornerstone of all successful plans of action. Be positive. Be the “go-to guy” or “gal” who takes projects and makes them work. You can do it!

Best wishes

Paula

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